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It’s natural to feel unsure about these new age-check rules. Many parents are asking the same questions you are, and it’s wonderful that you’re taking it upon yourself to learn so you can support young people.

First, we should start off by recognising that age verification technology is a tool that will primarily help limit accidental exposure of pornographic materials to young people, many who are several years from having their first sexual experiences.

This sole mechanism is more of a deterrent than a silver bullet. The reality is that older teens may get around restrictions and will inevitably encounter pornography as they get older.

We wholeheartedly agree that open conversations are integral to helping young people understand that porn is adult entertainment, not sex education. Porn literacy acts as a safety net when technological measures, like age assurance mechanisms, fail for some young people.

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What’s happening with age-assurance across the world?

• UK: Two months ago, the UK introduced age-assurance mandates. Two weeks following their introduction, Pornhub saw a 47% overall decrease in traffic to their site.
• USA: Age verification legislation for sites that host porn vary depending on the state. Currently, Pornhub is blocked across 21 states due to these laws. In Louisiana, Pornhub complied with the new rules and have seen an 80% decrease in traffic.
• Australia: Last week, it was announced that the eSafety Commissioner will introduce new industry codes that require porn sites to implement age verification on their sites. This is expected to fully come into effect in March 2026. This also extends to protecting young people against extremely violent content, and AI chatbots that are capable of generating sexually explicit material.

How do they work?

Depending on the country, and state, the websites and platforms choose the kind of tech they’ll use. This varies from uploading photo ID, using software to generate a facial age estimation, running a credit card check, and third-party age-assurance vendors.

In Australia, age checks are managed by the service, not by the government, and the codes don’t force people to have their identity linked to their activity, or require any data to be shared with the government.

In America, the data ownership/privacy between government and service is a little murkier. Some state governments, like in Texas, can request data logs which can confirm the age verification technology chosen by the platform/server is doing the job. But, that doesn’t mean your ID is instantly handed over to the government simply for accessing a porn site.

If you’re worried about privacy, you’re not alone. It helps to know that across all contexts, companies are bound by jurisdiction-based privacy laws. But even with those protections, it’s understandable to feel uneasy, which is why refocusing on the conversations and mechanisms you can control at home is so important.

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What’s the latest research showing?

The most up-to-date research we have on young people’s exposure to pornography was released only weeks ago, and the findings are sobering. A nationally representative survey from the UK found that more young people are encountering porn before turning 18 than in 2023, with more than a quarter saying they had seen porn online by 11. Some children surveyed were as young as six.

And, while far more young people stumble across porn by accident than go looking for it deliberately, the proportion of children who accidentally saw porn has risen by 21% in the last two years. Social media is the main gateway in the UK, with 80% of children who see porn online doing so through platforms like X, which has now outstripped dedicated porn sites by 10%.

This accidental exposure among extremely young children is exactly what policies and age-assurance laws around the world will be effective in preventing. Australia’s new Online Safety Act amendments, for instance, not only requires age checks to access social media platforms that host pornography but also mandates that explicit images be blurred by default to prevent accidental viewing.

There inevitably will be more older, tech-savvy teenagers who use VPNs and other legal tools to bypass restrictions. Indeed, in America, there has been a 51% percent traffic reduction of searches to Pornhub, but a 23.6% increase in searches for VPNs. There is no data to suggest that surge is coming exclusively from young people, however.

The bottom line is that while age-assurance policies can help shield children from unwitting exposure to pornography, no tech solution is a silver bullet. What really makes the difference is how prepared young people are to think critically about what they see (and importantly, whether they want to see it at all). This is what we mean when we advocate for porn literacy: supporting people to reflect on how porn shapes attitudes toward sex, relationships, gender, bodies, and consent.

Parents, caregivers and role models like you can help. We can create spaces where they’re comfortable to ask questions, and to support them in developing healthy expectations around sex and relationships in an online world historically engineered to do the opposite.

A Movember report launched this week emphasised that young people see their parents as trusted sources of relationship advice. And while it’s ambitious to believe that harmful messages portrayed through porn can be systematically dismantled, that UK research mentioned earlier focused on several tropes (or ‘porn scripts’) that we can proactively counter in our conversations with young people about sex and relationships.

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What the research says:

Young people who have seen pornography were 10% more likely to agree with the statement “girls may say no at first but then can be persuaded to have sex” than those who hadn’t, indicating a link between porn exposure and attitudes.

Key things to discuss:

No means no. If someone has already said no, trying to pressure or convince them is sexual coercion. It also means you’re being intimate with someone who doesn’t totally want to be there, and that’s a pretty awful situation for both of you!

What the research says:

More than half of young people (58%) had seen porn depicting strangulation, which is colloquially known as ‘choking’. Sexual strangulation has become commonplace, with 59% of men and 40% of women admitting to having strangled a sexual partner.

Key things to discuss:

Saying “yes” to one thing isn’t a green light for anything and everything. Consent is always specific to each action. If you want to try something you’ve seen in porn, it’s important to check in with your partner first. Porn is a performance, not a reflection of what everyone likes. And remember that some acts, like strangulation, can be very frightening and unsafe for the person on the receiving end.

What the research says:

Nearly half of respondents (44%) have seen depictions of sex acts being performed on someone who was asleep. While we can’t know the full scale of women who have been sexually assaulted by partners while they slept, Dr Jessica Taylor’s non-randomised study of 20,000 self-selected women found that 51% reported waking up to their male partner having sex with them.

Key things to discuss:

Consent needs to be reflective of capacity, and is only true when someone is awake, conscious, and sober enough to decide. While it’s common in porn scenes to sexualise women while asleep, in real life this is a serious violation. True intimacy happens when both people are fully present, engaged, and choosing it together.

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When you’re ready to begin the conversation, here are some quick tips:

1) Make it ongoing, not one ‘big talk’. You can use moments in media — like unrealistic sex on TV or gender stereotypes in books — to initiate more casual conversations about where these ideas come from and how porn might play a role.

2) Leave shame out of it. It’s essential not to mix shame with normal and healthy sexual curiosity. Be open and non-judgemental, and they’ll feel empowered to approach you with questions in the future.

3) Be proactive. If you can, introduce the topic before it becomes an issue. Talking about pornography proactively and not in reaction to finding a suspicious URL in their browsing history can help young people navigate what they might encounter later.

4) If you know they’ve seen it, talk about it. Don’t freak out — this is the perfect moment to open up a conversation to understand how they came across it and what they thought about it. Be sure to emphasize that porn isn’t made to depict reality or be educational. Like any form of entertainment, it takes creative license to present a fantasy.

5) Accept their level of openness. If they’re not immediately open to talking about it, that’s okay. The goal is to plant the seed and keep the door open. The more casually and openly you address the topic, the more comfortable they should become talking to you when they’re ready.

Just by trying, you’re already giving them one of the strongest protections they can have.

Talking to young people about porn isn’t about policing or shaming them. It’s about helping them unpack harmful messages, think critically about consent and relationships, and build healthy, respectful connections with themselves and others.

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